Teens, Cell Phones and Porn Culture

Participation in 'sexting' was reported by one-quarter of teens recently surveyed in an Associated Press/MTV poll. 'Sexting,' the sending by cell phone of sexually explicit or suggestive photos or videos is becoming an epidemic among teens.

Photos or videos are shot and transmitted by teens wanting to 'celebritize' themselves or to gain or keep a boyfriend or girlfriend. The permanence of digital data and the ease with which that data can be retransmitted means that the sexually-charged images rarely stay on the device to which they were originally sent. A boyfriend may share naked photos of his girlfriend with the guys in the locker room as proof of sexual prowess. Teens may engage in "resend revenge" spreading explicit pictures to get even with someone. Teens may also become unwitting recipients of unsolicited sexual material sent by friends to their phones.

The images don't simply remain on phones either, but can be sent to e-mail in-boxes from cell phones. Teens who have sexually explicit images of another minor, or even of themselves, stored on their phone or computer can have child pornography charges brought against them.

Many cell phone providers are rushing to provide parental controls for teen phones, but the solution does not lie in the technology. Teens are using cell phones exactly for what they were created to be used for: the transmission of voice, text and visual communication between cell phone users. The problems are a pervasive porn-as-norm society, lack of discernment skills in teens and an ever-weakening emphasis on personal virtue.

Parents can help their teens by fostering frank and honest conversation about technology and morality. This certainly should include the pragmatic discussion of consequences, both legal and relational. Moreover, Christian parents should find opportunities to reinforce with their children biblical understandings about human sexuality. Consider these talking points:

• God created human bodies with sexually-distinctive features and the capacity to enjoy mutual intimacy and called those created bodies GOOD!
  
  
• Biblical teachings on human sexuality view sex positively within a marriage and condemn sexual activity that has pleasure and sensuality as the primary goal.
  
  
• Jesus taught that two persons, a husband and wife, become joined as if they share one body and that they should not be torn assunder. Sexually intimacy bonds persons together in a real, but mysterious, way. In the case of serial sexual relationships, a piece of oneself is given permanently to every sexual partner and one likewise is shackled with the burden of pieces taken from one's partners.
  
  
• Our deep longing for intimacy--being known and cherished--comes straight from God's own heart. As God-in-three-persons, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit share a oneness of which we only catch a glimpse in human sexual relationships. We exert much effort in this life trying to fill that God-given longing with sensual pleasures that never truly satisfy. That longing is truly filled only by the One from whom it came.
  

These links are directed to helpful articles from The Center for Parent and Youth Understanding on sexting and texting acronyms:

Sexting

Text and chat acronyms

Budget and Financial Resources for Young Families

Financial stewardship is an important component of the lived-faith of young Christian families. Anabaptist-Mennonites hold tight to the understanding that the "earth is the Lord's and all that is in it, the world, and those who live in it" (Psalm 24:1). Jesus taught that, along with loving God with all we have, we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). Mennonites believe that frugal, simple living and responsibile management of material resources frees up more of those resources for aiding persons in need.

Money Under 30 is a personal finance education blog aimed at 20-somethings, but don't let that stop you if you're not part of their target audience. 30 and 40-somethings alike who are serious about saving, reducing debt, home ownership, investing and more can benefit from the insightful resources written by David Weliver, this site’s founder and editor. David writes from both personal and professional experience. David encourages charitable giving, even in small amounts, as part of a healthy financial life.

Lutheran Social Services Financial Counseling Service offers free, confidential budget and debt counseling over the phone (888-577-2227) or on the web at their Online Counseling site. LSS counselors will "help you create a realistic spending plan and an action plan to improve your financial situation". This free service is sponsored in part by Mennonite Mutual Aid, an insurance and financial services organization rooted in Anabaptist-Mennonite Christian values.

Virtue Reviews: "Wink, the Ninja" and "Spoon"

Wink! The Ninja Who Wanted to be Noticed

Author: J.C. Phillips

Virtues: assertiveness, creativity, diligence, enthusiasm, friendship, perseverance, self-confidence, self-discipline, self-worth, uniqueness

One Halloween, author Phillips, her husband and son encountered a neighborhood boy dressed in a bright red ninja costume trying to stealthily evade detection. When the family did their best to "not notice him" the boy-ninja got bored and started waving his arms around. Phillips' husband exclaimed, "Look, it's the ninja who wants to be noticed," and Phillip's first picture book was born. Wink, the boy-ninja-in-training, just can't fit in at the Summer Moon School for Young Ninjas. Wink's flair for theatrics, costuming and acrobatics clash with Master Zutsu's teachings of stealth, but Wink presses on determined to be the best ninja he can be. A chance encounter with a circus family holds the key to Wink finding his fit.

Spoon
Author: Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Virtues: admiration, family unity, friendship, self-confidence, self-worth, uniqueness, nurture

Spoon comes from an illustrious family with various spoon relatives; serving and silver, plain and fancy, functional and frivolous. But little Spoon has a hard time seeing his own worth and wonderful traits. Spoon is envious of the traits of his friends Fork, Knife and the Chopsticks--they're so lucky! But could it be that Spoon's friends think the same thing about Spoon?

Fun with the Kids: Homemade Slime

Try this recipe for play slime on an "indoor-day"!

In a jar, shake: 2 tsp Original Metamucil (coarse milled) and 1 cup water for 1 minute.

Pour mixture in a saucepan and bring to boil over medium heat. Cook for 3 minutes; stirring constantly.

Transfer to bowl and stir occasionally as it cools. Cook longer for firmer slime. Cook less for runny slime. ENJOY!

November is National Adoption Awareness Month

Did you know that Jesus was adopted? It's true! Take a look at this passage from the first chapter of the the New Testament Gospel of Matthew:

"This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream.

"Joseph, son of David," the angel said, "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord's message through his prophet: "Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means 'God is with us.' " When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus." Matthew 1:18-25 (NLT)

This young couple was in a hard spot. Who would believe Mary's story? Even Joseph had his doubts. Being a man of virtue, the situation weighed heavily on him. The tenderness in Joseph's heart allowed God to work for the good and Joseph took Mary as his wife and assumed the role of father for the soon-to-be-born Jesus. It is no wonder then, with Jesus as Lord, that Christians have a broad understanding of what comprises a family. Jesus proclaimed that family is based on more than just biology (Matt. 12:45-50 & Mark 3:31-35) and Paul, who led and taught among the early churches, made clear that God's family stretches across boundaries of race, class and gender (Galatians 3:26-29).

Adoption was, in fact, a practice of the early Christians. Roman culture emphasized the worth of male sons as heirs and the populace took to this norm so vigorously that infant daughters, when born, would be taken to the refuse dump and left to die. Christian families of the time would rescue the baby girls and raise them as their own children.

November, in the United States, is National Adoption Awareness Month and is a reminder to us to examine our hearts to see if there might be room in our homes for a child in need of a family. There are many forms of adoption: through adoption agencies, international adoptions, private adoptions and through the foster care system. The Awareness Month places special emphasis on foster adoption.

Over 150,000 foster children in the United States are currently available to be adopted. These are children from infancy through adolescence who entered foster care through no fault of their own and for whom parental rights have been terminated. Adopting through the foster system is permanent. Adoption through the foster system is affordable. Would you prayerfully consider whether God is leading you to adopt a child or whether you might advocate or volunteer on behalf of foster children? See the following websites for more information:

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Illinois Licensed Adoption Agencies

Why We Do What We Do When We Do Worship

Every worship service has an order of some kind or another that guides us from our busy schedules to a focused time of building our relationship with God and then back out again to serve in the world. As Christians, our primary purpose as a gathered body is to worship God. These are an example of the acts, or movements, of worship and what they mean for us:

Gathering: We enter, leaving our distractions behind, expecting to meet God in worship.

Praising God: We admire God directly through prayer and song.

Confession/Assurance: We name our shortcomings and acknowledge God’s grace and transforming power.

Witnessing/Testifying/Sharing: We share with each other how we’ve seen God at work in the world and ask for the help of others in bringing our concerns to God.

Hearing God’s Word: We hear the words and see the stories of the Bible; of God's persistent love for God's people.

Responding to the Word: We try to figure out together, with the help of God’s Spirit, how we ought to place ourselves in God's ongoing story. What does the Bible mean and what effect should it have on our lives?

Affirming Faith: We name the truth we know about God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Holy Spirit and God’s relationship to humanity and all of creation.

Praying Together: We bring to God prayers for ourselves, those dear to us, for our neighbors, for the church and for the world.

Blessing/Sending/Commissioning: We leave renewed in hope expecting to meet God in the world and are reminded of our "job description"--how we should serve as Christ's hands and feet in the world.

Further reading:
Yoder, June Alliman, Marlene Kropf and Rebecca Slough. Preparing Sunday Dinner: A Collaborative Approach to Worship and Preaching. Scottdale: Herald Press, 2005.

JUST FOR FUN: THE HERO FACTORY
Have you ever considered creating a costume for yourself and taking to the streets to pursue justice for the innocent as a full-fledged superhero? Give this web app a try and test-run your super-get-up before investing your allowance in bolts of high-tech fabric and kevlar thread. The app allows for various choices between guy and girl costumes, hair and skin color, shirts, pants, capes (I'd recommend avoiding capes--they cause problems), accessories and more. In my attempt to create a non-violent, Creation-caring, eco-superhero identity for myself I ended up with the ensemble to the right. Quite stylish, if I do say so myself.

Talking with Your Child about Holy Week

There’s no getting around the fact that the story of Jesus’ experiences from the Last Supper to the Crucifixion, which we commemorate during Holy Week, is a violent story and can be hard for children to process. Jesus is betrayed for money by a friend who then hangs himself. Peter lops off a guy’s ear with a sword. Jesus is brutally beaten and taunted and dragged before the masses to stand beside a murderer whom the crowd chooses to set free instead of Jesus. Jesus’ death by crucifixion begins with spikes being pounded in his hands and feet and what follows is a slow death by dehydration, suffocation and cardiac duress. How do you talk about that with your kids?

It is a helpful approach for us as adults to become knowledgeable about the various understandings of Jesus’ death (the cross as sacrifice; as a victory; as forgiveness; and as a moral example) as there are things to be learned from each—all of them represent views presented in Scripture itself. See my bibliography below for resources for personal study. The irony here, in asking how to talk about Jesus’ violent death with children, is that our children have already been, and continue to be exposed to violence—the question is not ‘if’ anymore, but ‘when’ and ‘how’? The difference is that the story of Jesus’ death, though violent, is a statement against the powers of violence and oppression.

Consider these statements when speaking with your child:
1. Jesus’ death shows that he was willing to die rather than deny what he knew to be true about God the Father.
2. Jesus’ death shows that he was willing to die rather than bring about God’s Kingdom through violence.
3. Jesus’ death healed the relationship between humans and God so that we might fully follow God both in this life and even after death.
4. Death happens to everyone, but Jesus’ death gives us the power to not fear death and to live now as Jesus lived—showing God’s love and mercy to others.
5. Jesus rose from the dead with a new, amazing and mysterious body and that means that God can bring that same renewal to humanity and to all of creation.

Make sure as well to ask your child about their own understanding of Holy Week, you may just be surprised to learn something yourself!

BRAIN NEWS: TODDLER BRAINS, TEEN BRAINS
Current research on brain function is providing surprising insight into the behaviors of children across a broad age span—from Toddler to Teen.

Why Toddlers Don’t Seem to Listen:
A recent news story highlighted research which seemed to show that toddlers do not plan for the future by anticipating situations, but instead call up past learnings on an as-needed basis. For example, you can tell your toddler till you’re blue in the face to get their coat on before going out, but they won’t recognize the need for the coat till they are outside shivering in the yard. What may be most helpful is to somehow trigger this reactive function in your child—highlight the conflict they are going to face: “I know you don’t want to put your coat on now, but when you’re standing in the driveway shivering later, remember that your coat is in the closet.”

Why Teens Can’t Multi-task:
Between age 11 and 17 brain waves reduce significantly while a teen is sleeping. Brain scientists speculate that a process called “synaptic pruning”—in which the brain decides which connections must be kept and which can be let go—is reflected in this reduction. The high degree of brain flexibility found in young children—so great that a damaged function of the brain can be learned by another section—decreases in teens because synaptic pruning is moving their brain toward processing multiple pieces of information related to focusing on single problems for longer periods. There is no great behavioral strategy offered, but parents may wish to try limiting their expectation of the number of tasks a teen can accomplish at once.

Links:
Why Toddlers Don't Do What They're Told
Teen Brains Clear Out Childhood Thoughts

On my desk:
Driver, John. Understanding the Atonement for the Mission of the Church. Eugene: Wipf and Stock Publishers (reprint of Herald Press, 1986).

Green, Joel B. and Mark D. Baker. Recovering the Scandal of the Cross: Atonement in New Testament and Contemporary Contexts. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2000.

Weaver, J. Denny. The Non-Violent Atonement. Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2001.

Fight or Flight? Conflict is Healthier

Flight—more often than fight—is the bigger threat when it comes to dooming a marriage. Pop psychology urges couples to avoid conflict at all costs. But the emotional distancing that creeps in when couples begin to withhold concerns for the sake of so-called-peace can devastate a relationship.

David Code, an Episcopal minister, family coach and author, in a recent article in Christian Science Monitor said that recognizing ‘flight-mode’ can be tricky. Obviously, walking away from heated conversation counts as flight, but it can be far more subtle: working late, watching TV, and even spending time with the kids. When these activities are done as a way to avoid a spouse, it is then that they become problematic.

This is a difficult issue that affects many of us. The tendency toward flight in situations of conflict is for me a consistent challenge at which I work. We learn these habits from our families-of-origin, from social situations we face as children and in-tandem with less-than-healthy parts of our personalities.

But in avoiding the touchy topics that can spark conflict, couples communicate to each other less and less of their true thoughts, feelings and dreams, says Code. The good news is that we can eat, walk and talk our way to relationships of greater intimacy.

Have each family member share the ‘highlight’ and ‘lowlight’ of their day at mealtimes: This is a simple type of prayer exercise based on the Consciousness Examen developed by St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits. Ignatius was an immensely practical man and he asked his monastic brothers to engage in simple reflection on their daily lives as a way of seeing God at work. This prayer asks us to see and be grateful for God’s wonder in the concrete details: “I saw my first butterfly of the spring sunning on my windowsill.” It also asks us to be aware of our shortcomings and disappointments: “I got mad at the older lady ahead of me at the checkout because she paid in nickels.” Thank God for the ‘highlight’ and place the ‘lowlight’ into God’s hands, asking God’s help for the next time the situation arises.

Purchase a set of voice-activated walkie-talkies: these gadgets are like high-tech baby monitors with greater range. Place one near your sleeping child and then take a stroll together and talk in the yard or while ambling down the street. Stay close enough that you can sprint back in a hurry. Code points out that you’ll hear more on the walkie-talkie than the parent watching television on a different floor of the house.

“Sure, avoiding our partner feels easier in the short-term,” says Code, “so we may have to force ourselves to interact at times, but putting our spouse first is win-win.”

Code, David. “How Emotional Distance Ruins Marriage.”
Zagano, Phyllis. "A Popular Method of Prayer from St. Ignatius and His Followers."

GEOCACHING: FAMILY FUN WITH GPS
Every kid dreams of finding hidden, buried treasure with a secret map. Thanks to the Global Positioning System (GPS) hidden treasure is just an afternoon away. GPS which originated as a military locating tool, was made fully available for public use in the most accurate way in May of 2000. Prior to that date the accuracy was very limited.

‘Geo’ which means 'earth' and ‘cache’ which means 'a hiding place to store items' make up the word geocaching and precisely describe the sport. The premise is that someone hides a cache and makes available the GPS coordinates so that others may locate it. A cache typically contains small ‘prize’ items and a log book. Coordinates may be posted on Internet sites like geocaching.com. Once found, the seeker takes an item, leaves an item in its place and records their name, the date and their city name in the log book. Caches may vary in size from large, reusable plastic containers to something as small as a film canister—or smaller!

Caches can be hidden in the wild or in the city; easy to get to or nearly-impossible to get to. Some caches even require following clues form cache to cache till you find the prize.

Unlike many forms of entertainment that use the Internet, geocaching requires you to leave the computer behind and set foot into the world to find that hidden treasure! Remember to respect private property and ask permission before entering and remember to respect natural areas and avoid trampling areas off-trail. You can help your community as well by picking up trash while you hunt for the cache!

DICTIONARY DECLINE: CHRISTIAN, NATURE WORDS
Imagine helping your child look up ‘blackberry’ (the edible one) in the Oxford Junior Dictionary only to find that it had been replaced by ‘Blackberry’ (the communication device). Imagine no longer. Nature words are on the decline and being replaced by technological terms.

In: Blog, MP3 player, broadband, Blackberry (the electronic kind)
Out: Acorn, beaver, otter, blackberry (the purple berry you can eat)

Christian words are on the decline in the Oxford Junior Dictionary as well. Bishop, chapel and saint are not to be found.

NWF Green Hour Blog for Parents

IT'S THE SIMPLE (SILLY) GIFTS
It’s the Baby Mop all-in-one baby jumper! With static-charged, extra-cushy fringe your baby can earn his keep while keeping your floors dust-free and shiny! Machine-washable, flame-retardant. courtesy: kirainet’s flickr stream The caption states that you may at first have to call to the baby from across the room to get him started, but pretty soon he’ll be doing what he does naturally. Build a healthy work ethic in your baby!

ON MY DESK:
Peters, Jack W. The Complete Idiots Guide to Geocaching. New York: Alpha, 2004. (Normal Public Library)
Sherman, Eric. Geocaching: Hide and Seek with Your GPS. Berkeley: Apress, 2004. (Normal Public Library).

Creative Work for Justice: The Home Dome

Twelve year-old Max Wallack, a young inventor, while on a trip to Chicago saw many homeless people living on the streets. "I felt very sorry for these people," says Max, "and ever since then, felt that my goal and obligation was to find a way to help them. As a contestant in PBS' Design Squad Trash-to-Treasure contest Max designed an emergency shelter for homeless people, refugees or disaster victims. Made entirely of trash, Max's prototype shelter “The Home Dome” is a yurt or igloo-shaped structure made entirely from Styrofoam peanuts packed into plastic shopping bags. The dwelling is anchored down when the occupant lies down on the attached bed. Max's creation does double-duty in providing care for those without shelter and in preventing materials from ending up in the landfill. As contest winner, Max had the opportunity to create a professional model of his Home Dome.

Creative work like the kind that Max engaged in by creating his Home Dome brings to mind the vision of Isaiah 25: 
4 For you have been a refuge to the poor, a refuge to the needy in their distress, a shelter from the rainstorm and a shade from the heat. When the blast of the ruthless was like a winter rainstorm, 5 the noise of aliens like heat in a dry place, you subdued the heat with the shade of clouds; the song of the ruthless was stilled. 6 On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear. 7 And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; 8 he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken. 9 It will be said on that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us. This is the LORD for whom we have waited; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

Design Squad Trash-to-Treasure

Ideation Station

Creation-care: The Art of the Common Place

Last week the world lost an icon of American art in the death of painter Andrew Wyeth. Wyeth was a frequent target of critique. His father, illustrator N.C. Wyeth, thought Andrew wasn’t much of an illustrator. Art critics said that he was an illustrator and not an artist. In the face of this, Wyeth nurtured a silent and centered focus on his art for its own sake. What Wyeth mastered was the conveyance of Place.

I capitalized ‘Place’ because I want to convey that the subjects of Wyeth’s art were not shallow ‘some-places’ but locations imbued with deep identity, emotion and worth. These places for Wyeth were his hometown of Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania, and his summer home in Cushing, Maine. The content of Wyeth’s art is mundane, not in the popular sense of ‘boring,’ ‘plain’ or ‘tedious,’ but in the original sense of the word—“earthly,” from the Latin mundi for ‘world.’ Intimacy is discovered in the detail of individual grass blades, bark on exposed tree roots, gradients of cloud shading, the texture of lone rocks and the movement of light through window panes. Even in Wyeth’s portraits and modeled compositions it is clear that the people reside in a Place.

Spring Beauty by Andrew Wyeth (1943)

In Wyeth, one finds a childlike captivation with the immediate space which he occupies. Herein, is the point for parents. The single most important virtue at the heart of creation stewardship—or caring for God’s world, creatures, plants and people—is wonder. Wonder leads to exploration. Exploration leads to knowledge. Knowledge leads to relationship. Relationship leads to thanksgiving. Thanksgiving leads to care. Red bird becomes Cardinal. Yellow weed becomes Tall Goldenrod. Dirt becomes Catlin-Saybrook Silt Loam (in the case of our church’s front lawn). In the Genesis creation story, God almost playfully presents Adam with animals “to see what he would call them” (Genesis 2:19). Isn’t it amazing that God wants us to participate in the care and nurture of this glorious, exceptional world!

Here’s an exercise to help your children come to know the Place in which they live. Give your child a hula hoop and a magnifying glass and ask them pick a spot and to catalog what they find within the diameter of the hoop. Leave the cataloging method wide open: drawing, writing, photographs, etc. Join them in their exploration and try to restrain your “explanation reflex” so that their curiosity can run free.

BONUS REVIEW: Spore

Spore, from Sims creator Will Wright, is a multi-genre, single-player computer game with enhanced Internet content. The impetus for the game story is the theory of panspermia—the idea that a meteor crashing to earth brought the original ingredients which lent to the creation of life forms. The premise is that the player begins with a one-celled organism which the player may physically alter in the Creature Creator module, based on game challenges and creature needs, after having accumulated DNA points. The player moves their creature from unicellular water-dweller, to land-walking creature, to tribe member, on to civilization and eventually launches into space.

The Cost: $49.95 as a direct download from Spore.com or in-a-box at most retailers.

The Worldview: Evolution is the mechanism by which intelligent life develops.

The Irony: Behind the evolutionary process is you, the Intelligent Designer!

Violence: Your choices early in the game determine whether your race will be warmongers or peacemakers. That’s right, you have the option to be peacemakers and court friendship with other races with your music and dance talent. The catch is that by the space stage even the “peacemakers” end up having to shoot anonymous space pirates who raid colony planets.

Final Analysis: The engine that drives the game is the Creature Creator. The bulk of gameplay is creature design and, as well, the most consistently enjoyable part. For $10 you can buy Creature Creator separately and play it apart from the evolution story line and internet content. My two-year old daughter even enjoyed helping Daddy “create” new critters by picking out colors and shapes. Intuitive controls make this easy to learn.

On my desk
Corn, Wanda. The Art of Andrew Wyeth. Greenwich: Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, 1973. (Normal Public Library).

Moyer, Joanne. Earth Trek: Celebrating and Sustaining God’s Creation. Waterloo: Herald Press, 2004.