Ways to Pray: Praying with Clay

Clay being formed by the hands of a potter is an image that shows up frequently in the Bible when the writers want to talk about the relationship between God and people. As a lump of clay is molded and shaped for a specific purpose, so are we as individuals shaped by our relationship with God and with the body of Christian believers that makes up the Church.

Isaiah 64:8 Yet, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Here are two approaches for praying with clay (store-bought or homemade) which you can use and you may come up with your own ideas later on:

1) Use the clay to create a symbol which represents your prayer request or perhaps your reflection on a scripture verse or an image of God. Ask God's Spirit to work with your hands to help you understand.

2) Experience something of what it might be like to be God-the-Potter by shaping the clay into a representation of yourself-as-God-sees-you. Ask God's Spirit to help you understand your God-given gifts and attributes.

• Pay attention to what makes the clay special. Does the clay move easily sometimes and resist at other times?
• After spending time making your "mini-me," reflect on how God might be molding your life--do you yield easily to God's shaping or do you resist?
  
• What has this exercise taught you about God's love for you?

Did you know that you can learn to know when it is God that is shaping you and not peer pressure or pop culture? Pay attention to both inside-signs (like emotions, stirrings, dreams and thoughts, etc.) and outside-signs (affirmation or caution from fellow Christians, a clue from the Bible, something you hear in worship, etc.). My experience is that when both inside and outside clues line-up that God is in the midst of your searching. But I'll be honest and tell you that you won't always have clarity and certainty beyond the simple fact that you are loved by God and that God desires good to ultimately come from your life.

New Feature: Ways to Pray

Somewhere along the way, Christians became convinced that the ONLY way to pray was with heads bowed, eyes closed, hands folded and speaking English from the King James Version of the Bible in sombre tones.

By simply reading the Bible itself you can discover all sorts of prayer types and numerous ways to pray presented there. From thanksgiving to lament, from praise to confessing, with hands raised, on your knees, in a closet, in worship, with song, with groaning and tears--the take home message is that God desires our prayers in any mood and in many ways.

It is in this spirit that I'm happy to include a new feature, "Ways to Pray," which will appear occasionally. A previous post on coloring-as-prayer began to address this topic. The Ways to Pray feature will always have the words "Ways to pray" as part of the heading.

Taking Back Childhood: Power Sharing

The basic understanding of power in our North American society is either you have it or you don't. This plays out in parenting when we either exert power over our children or give our power away to them, neither of which helps them to develop as healthy, whole individuals. If force is used to get children to comply, societal models of coercion are reinforced. If kids are simply allowed to run the show, we are not teaching them alternatives: "skills of dialogue, cooperation, negotiation, and joint problem solving."

In reality, power exists on a continuum between having all the power and giving it all away. Nancy Carlsson-Paige, in Taking Back Childhood, asks parents to stop and think about whether there might be a way to share power with children in any given situation. Knowing that a child's reaction to a situation and, equally, a parent's reaction to a situation have little to do with the actual situation but with emotions, addressing these emotions can help resolve the situation in a peaceful, nurturing way. A child may feel insecure or afraid, hesitant or perhaps angry; what approach could take their need seriously? A parent may feel overwhelmed or embarrassed, challenged or helpless; what can we as parents do to deescalate our internal states?

David, a thirty-six-year-old father, had assumed most of the responsibility for caring for his three-year-old son Mark after the recent birth of their second son Lucas. Lucas had colic so Sadie, David's wife, had been tending to Lucas almost constantly. David prepared for Mark his favorite breakfast, bagel with cream cheese. But this morning Mark started fussing: the bagel was too hot, the cream cheese wasn't right. David tried to reason with him saying, "The bagel doesn't feel hot to me." But Mark cried harder, "It IS hot!" David persuaded Mark to feel the temperature of the bagel together with their hands. But Mark kept on crying, and with tears streaming down his face said "I don't want a baby brother." David hugged him close and Mark cried harder, "I want Mommy." David held him lovingly and simply said, "Yes, Mark, it is really hard to have a baby brother." After a while, Mark relaxed, and tears lessening, said "I feel better."

Carlsson-Paige points out that David had two opportunities to exert power over Mark: 1) he could have said, "The bagel is NOT hot--now eat it."; or 2) he could have criticized Mark and made him feel bad about his feelings toward baby brother. Instead, by keeping his own parental anxiety in check and by taking Mark's feelings seriously he allowed Mark to open up about what was really bothering him.

I attempted to use a power sharing framework with my two-year-old daughter in one instance last week. My wife was washing some dishes and our daughter was standing on a chair watching Mama work. She asked Mama if she could play with some bubbles. My wife placed a blob of dish suds on the counter. The time eventually came to be finished with suds and to begin bedtime routines. I told my daughter that it was time to get down and she began to fuss. I paused, and asked myself how I might share power with her. I asked her, "Would you like to take some bubbles with you in your hand?" She said, "yes," and I placed a bit of suds on her fingers. She promptly got down with a smile and went to grab her pajamas. The suds evaporated along with the tension.

The basic notion expressed in this power-sharing concept is that negotiation and joint problem solving are okay. They don't diminish parental authority. They don't create "terror children," but in fact encourage children in learning how to self-regulate. The virtues of cooperation, honesty, and mutuality--engendered in children by using this discipline concept--go a long way toward helping them, as adults, to take seriously the reconciliatory, peacemaking teachings of Jesus Christ.

Challenge by choice

This week I volunteered as a facilitator on the high ropes course at Menno Haven Camp and Retreat Center, one of the two Mennonite camps that our congregation supports. The course element for which I served as a belayer was the Leap of Faith. The basic task of the Leap is to climb, wearing a harness with ropes, as far as you are able up telephone pole and perhaps, after mounting the plastic disc at the top, leap off and ring a bell on rope.

Participants must agree to abide by the Full Value Contract. The contract addresses safety, teamwork, communication and growth, but the foundation of the contract is the concept of Challenge by Choice. Each person is given the freedom to assess their comfort level and choose whether or not to participate, but are encouraged to go as far as they are comfortable and then one step beyond.

One young man who was in our group let me know of a disability he has which limits his coordination and control over his legs. He confessed that he didn't think he could participate. I reminded him of the goal of getting one step beyond comfort. The young man waited till last and finally approached the ladder. Each step up was physically excruciating. It was apparent when he reached his comfort level. I reminded him of the goal and, encouraged by his peers, he went two painful steps beyond comfortable. To see his joy and to see how his peers rallied around him was wonderful.

Have there been times recently that you have reached your comfort zone and then just stopped because to go further might be awkward or come at some cost to you? I know I have. In fact, just yesterday I was on a guided nature hike and the young man from the university who was leading the hike was surprised, in light of my plant and ecology knowledge, to find out that I was a pastor. I told him that there is a growing interest in ecology and stewardship in our congregation and that's when I hit my comfort zone. I was on the verge of inviting him to church, but froze; afraid of rejection. I went away thinking, "I should have."

The good news is that when we are "confronted by comfort" and are anxious or fearful about taking that one-step-beyond we are empowered to call on the aid of Jesus Christ. The New Testament writer Paul had some good insight about comfort zones, realizing that not only can we do hard things when Christ gives us strength (Philippians 4:12-13), but that through our weaknesses the strength of Christ is plainly shown to others (2 Corinthians 12:9).

And good times were had by all...

Every now again there's something about indulging the impulse to pit your wits against a computer game. There are some poor choices out there that do not align with Anabaptist-Christian values--games which promote violence, theft and aggression--but I'm happy to commend a good choice. The folks at Big Idea Productions, makers of Veggie Tales and other films for families, have created bigideafun.com. Various games starring your favorite characters from Big Idea can be played right in your internet browser (you may be prompted to download the Shockwave plug-in). The site features no outside advertising or objectionable material so it's something your parents can feel better about you playing--they may want to play, too! So, after your homework is done, challenge a parent to beat your high score on my favorite game Doom Funnel Chasers! Ever shoot a duct tape ball at a black hole? No? Well, you can now!

Taking Back Childhood: Media-Linked Toys

In the introduction to this three-part blog-series on the book Taking Back Childhood, I noted that television and movies have become strongly linked to children’s toy product lines. Initially, the linkage would have been limited more to the portrayal of cartoon characters like the Care Bears or the Smurfs.

(As an aside, don’t think for an instant that the resurgence of toy product lines from the 1980’s in today’s store aisles is simply a happenstance. We, the children who originally played with those toys, now have children of our own—adults are certainly preyed upon by toy marketing as well.)

Today, though, stores are stocked with action figures and other merchandise linked to movies which have ratings for age groups older than the target audience in the toy aisles. Take for instance the recent Batman film The Dark Knight. Squeaking by into a PG-13 rating, the movie is filled chaotic personal violence, psychological horror and disturbing acts of terrorism. But you will note in the picture featured here of Dark Knight action figures, that the packaging says “4+”.

A general problem with media-linked toys is that they “script” children’s play. Open-ended, unscripted play nurtures children by allowing them to shape “raw materials” like blocks and clothing into props which support stories which they themselves create. Media-linked toys are created with a primary purpose of acting out the narrative found in the cartoon or movie. In the case of The Dark Knight, that “script” is one that promotes weapons violence, vengeance and deception as the ultimate tools for countering the ultimate evil.

As Christian parents in the Anabaptist tradition, peacemaking is a virtue which we should seek to instill in our children. Open-ended play helps children to potentially develop a myriad of creative, non-violent response options when play conflict arises; whether between the children themselves or between characters in their stories. The scripted, and especially violently scripted, media-linked toys hamper children’s interpersonal skills and cement in them a narrow and simplistic view of the world—one which does not likely include reconciliation with enemies.

Ugly is the New Beautiful

A very specific, very narrow definition of beauty has been incorporated into toy lines for some time now. From Barbie to Bratz, girls and boys both come to learn harmful societal values about body image and self-worth which stick with them into teenage years and beyond. But I am happy to announce that ugly is the new beautiful! Uglydolls, a line of stuffed toys, is a runaway success with an unlikely story.

David Horvath and Sun-Min Kim, both having an interest in toy design, met in a class at the New School for Design in New York City in 1997. Horvath was attracted to Sun-Min, but no sooner than Kim began to return his affection her visa expired and she had to return to Korea. Horvath was crushed, but clung to his two dreams of designing toys and reuniting with Sun-Min. David took his drawings to a major toy company, but was rejected and told that his characters would not translate into the toy medium.

Discouraged, Horvath wrote a letter to his beloved Sun-Min which included a drawing of an ugly little orange creature named Wage. Sun-Min put her design skills to work sewing a plush version of Wage as a Christmas present for Horvath--an ugly doll created with love. Upon seeing the toy, the owner of the Giant Robot toy store where Horvath worked ordered 20 dolls which sold out immediately. Kim and Horvath eventually married and their Uglydolls took off and have received numerous toy design awards. The persistent success of these toys is due in part to the emotional chord struck in the many who seek a new definition of beauty.

Christians attest to a standard of beauty which is not simply based on physical beauty, but which is grounded in a beauty that originates with God. True beauty is discerned only in the light of God's beauty. When we cling to a very narrow image of "beautiful"--like that which many toys are happy to define for us--we become numb to the true beauty of the people and things around us which lift our hearts to see the beauty of the Creator. The Old Testament writer Isaiah described a vision of the ugly, beautiful Christ who was to come:

Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?... There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look...But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us... (Isaiah 53:1-5 The Message)

So the next time you wonder whether or not something is beautiful--think ugly! It may just serve to remind you that beauty rests in the eye of the Creator.

Sources: Media excerpts from Uglydolls About Us page

We Interrupt This Blogcast...

An unusual offering made its way to the shelves of local comic book shops. IDW Publishing, known for its comic book translations of television and video game properties, has released comic book biographies of both major party presidential candidates. Presidential Material: Barack Obama and Presidential Material: John McCain can be purchased separately or as a back-to-back flip comic.

The comic masthead attests to biographical presentations "based on true events or the prior reporting of true events" and while they do claim accuracy they acknowledge artistic expression. That being said, upon a first reading it seems that they do a reasonable job of showing the merits of each candidate without glossing over less-than-pleasing bits of their personal histories.

I'll not go into a theological debate in this forum about voting or not voting, but I will say that even abstention from voting ought to be informed abstention. These comics would be an enjoyable way to introduce teen children to the candidates if televised debates have yet to grab their attention. Perhaps you'll learn something new as well.

These comics can be purchased locally from Jim at ACME comics, Uptown Normal, IL.

For several perspectives on Anabaptist-Christians and voting, including Goshen College history professor John D. Roth's "Polls Apart: Why Believers Might Conscientiously Abstain From Voting" (pdf download), visit Goshen College: Faith and Politics.

Coming Soon to the Church Library

Taking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World
By: Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed.D.
Hudson Street Press, 2008, 304 pp
ISBN 9781594630439

The deregulation of children’s television programming during my childhood has culminated in what I consider no less than a crisis for those of us who today are parents to young children. With its genesis in the early, seemingly innocent pairings of cartoons and toys—like G.I. Joe, Transformers, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite and others—the media-merchandise machine assaults our children on all fronts. From TV to toys to clothing to snack crackers and shampoo, marketers prey on the susceptibility of children to make a profit. These products hawked to our children at every turn promote violence and highly “scripted” play. These result in stifled creative-thinking and the emergence of significantly disruptive and alarming behavior in the home and classroom.

Nancy Carlsson-Paige, a professor of early childhood education and conflict resolution, offers practical help for “21st-century parents” in her book Taking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World. The premise of the book is that to counter the effects of the media-merchandise machine parents and educators need to assure that three critical elements are present in the life of children: creative play, a feeling of security, and meaningful relationships with both adults and other children.

Carlsson-Paige’s single concise chapter on child development theory is worth four other whole books. Her keen insights about the behavior and needs of each developmental age-grouping provide practical nuggets that parents can grasp a hold of and use daily. Ideas from Taking Back Childhood will provide the basis for the next three blog entries. Additionally, this valuable book has been added to our church library.